Nerves and sleepless nights. Should I change this
Nerves and sleepless nights. If you are like this, this is hard to change and you have to want to change this? What if you are just so, that you sleep worse because you are nervous, can spend nights worrying about anything and everything.
Nerves can change over the years, I know all about that.
Children and nerves
When the boys were little, the nerves were mostly focused on growth and development. From the moment they started walking, the nerves came over ‘running away’. I did not dare to let them out of my sight for a moment because imagine. I always found a day at an amusement park or otherwise quite an undertaking.
This is one of the reasons why I never go on school trips, for example.
The nerves get different
The boys get older and their ‘nerves’ become different. The letting go is already a bit over, they can now have a moment alone or play outside alone. I don’t have the nerves for that anymore.
But what for. Speeches, ten-minute talks and basically everything to come.
Why I don’t go on school trips
Are the regular outings at school, still sometimes difficult to fill with parents who want to come along. On school trips many parents always want to come along. I do not. I want to go and help with everything, except school trips. I find an amusement park with my own two boys difficult, let alone with a group of 5-6 children.
And then again, they are not my own children. So I always like to miss school trips.
The nerves before judging
Just recently I had another ten-minute talk. The boys are doing well at school and they both have very good and kind teachers. Still, that ten-minute conversation always gives me a bit of a hard time. I used to be nervous when my mother went on an interview. Do I still feel those nerves.
I remember always lying in bed waiting for my mother to come home. She would always sit on my bed and tell me what had been said. My mother is a very positive person and I actually remember her always being very positive after the interviews.
Being judged as a mother
Now I have to go to those interviews myself and although I know the boys are doing fine, I always find it a nervous event. I think this happens because as a mother I am also judged. And that’s why I always have these nerves a bit. They will talk about your child and thus indirectly about me as a mother.
I try not to show these nerves I have to my children. I just hope they didn’t take this trait from me. And can go through life more confidently.
Also the children have this feeling
Still, I notice that the boys know a bit about nerves too although I am glad to see that it is quite different from what I used to do. They are definitely stronger in hu shoes than I used to be. The oldest has a speaking engagement in a few weeks and is now worried about ‘ looking into the classroom’ during the speaking engagement.
We have already agreed to practice well together for his speech and I hope this will give him peace of mind going into class.
Nature of the beast
Well, I am the way I am and there is no doubt that I get nervous easily. I’m really learning to loosen up, but sometimes these nerves come and go and that’s just part of me too, just like the sleepless nights. I notice that the boys are not bothered by this themselves and hope that it stays that way, although nerves from time to time are of course not bad at all.